People say things like "I hope things get better" and "Well at least they can't get any worse" when they're not sure how to respond to certain situations.
2009 has quickly established itself with a "2 steps forward, three steps back" reputation.
For every "absolutely wonderful" thing that's happened, something horrible has followed. I'm tired of waxing poetic religion on the topic because that leaves me with too many questionable options.
predestination:
1. God is mad at me and smiting me for sin I am blind to.
2. God is smiting me because I was born simply to live a mediocre to crappy life then die and go to hell.
3. God wants my life to suck so nothing I do will improve my situation and I should stop trying altogether.
Other options:
1. the Devil hates me and is trying to make me believe one of the previous possibilities.
2. God is pulling a "Job" and throwing me to the wolves to see if I'm more faithful than not.
3. My true destiny is to be a motivational speaker and I'm sweeping the stock market with all the Character I'm building now.
4. There is no God and this is all random happenstance so I should respond to all these situations the way I want to instead of the way I know I "should."
5. The fact that I would even list #4 as a possibility is proof that I'm deserving of all this "smite" and more because "good Christians" never let anything bother them and just post bible verses in their statuses and skip along down the trails without a care in the world.
6. God really, really, REALLY wants me to finally do something nice for myself and use my vacation time for a REAL vacation because he loves me and wants me to be happy and the only way to get me there is sometimes to break me in half.
7. This will later become a crucial chapter in the book everyone tells me I should someday write about my life.
8. The worse life gets in big ways, the more I remember how much I need to appreciate tiny little things in my life that make me so happy but get so easily overshadowed by big happinessessessses.
9. God doesn't want me to move back to Arizona yet because he's planning to pull a "Hail Mary" in the last 30 seconds of the 4th quarter.
10. Plan A was only ever a fool's dream, The Cards were never meant to win the Super Bowl and my life was always meant to be a roller coaster so other people find entertainment in my different art mediums.
11. This is all just a really bad dream and when I wake up, I will realize the last 28 years of my "life" were really just a figment of my imagination and I am actually a three legged dog owned by a writer, whose ideas I heard in my sleep and worked into this fabulous life story but I cannot communicate to my master because every time I bark, he puts me in a backyard full of potholes with a passive aggressive gopher.
I might not know much about God, life, "religion" or the purpose of my existence, but I'm pretty sure it's either #6 or #11...
I bought myself a diamond ring over the weekend.
It really doesn't solve any of my problems, but it sure is pretty to look at. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment