Twelve years ago I worked at a summer camp in Northern Arizona and met the sweetest 14-year-old who was not only on my floor in the dormitories but was in the room right next to mine. She had very overprotective parents with incredibly high expectations. I could tell she was trapped inside the person they wanted her to be and for whatever reason, we bonded really tight over the following two weeks.
We stayed in touch after that summer but I lost track of her around the time she went off to nursing school in college.
She was one of the few kids I continued to think about constantly over the years and I knew a girl like her with a childhood like she saw could either lead to total devastation or complete triumph.
By the grace of God she made it out not only okay but with flying colors despite some horrible obstacles life threw her way.
We eventually found each other again and she's continued to be like a little sister to me on the other side of the country. She's turned into a remarkable woman and mother.
I couldn't find my cell phone on my way to work this morning but on the days I can't find it, either no one calls or everyone calls. I was relaxing on the couch for a while when suddenly I felt this weird panic overcome me and I started to search the house for my phone.
When I found it, I also found the following text message:
My dear friend... I'm so sorry to be writing this to you but I have a brain tumor... gonna fight and try to fix it but I don't know yet if we'll be successful... thank you for being the best counselor a girl could ever have and for believing in me."
We talked for almost four hours. It's amazing how much there is to talk about when you're trying to avoid asking "So do you think you're going to die?" and the other person is avoiding saying "yes."
A friend of mine once compared the constant tragedies of my life to the life of Job.
I wonder how much darkness God intends to have me see before he brings some light... With each new call, I feel like more of me dies inside and I wonder if it's worse to die within the world or to live in a world constantly dying around you. I fake smiles and say "I'm fine" by default now and it's not something I'm proud to discover.
When I was little, the world was such a beautiful place full of wonder and joy.
What happened to my Eden?
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